A man in the grocery store check-out line said to me, when I was buying the ten-pound bag of sugar I hadn’t been able to find the week before, “That’s the biggest bag of sugar I’ve ever seen.” Now if I was my friend Mary I might think the guy was coming on to me,

but I don’t think that way, and if he had been coming on to me, why I must be sending out the most inexplicable signals of approachability as the fellow was haggard, mostly toothless, and the shade of yellow that indicates either liver disease or habitual cigarette smoking.
I was bewildered. This guy, who had to be at least in his sixties, had never seen a ten-pound bag of sugar! My epiphanies tend to be of the prosaic sort, and this was definitely one of them. I said, “I do a lot of baking.” It wasn’t an apology, but stern defiance. Yes, I am a contemporary woman, and I do a lot of baking. My pies are particularly renown, and I have one mild friend whose anger is leoninely fierce if I tell him of the pies I’ve baked, as he lives far away and can only remember their pleasures. Now if the fellow had been sixteen, I would have understood the comment (and certainly even my friend Mary wouldn’t have thought it was a pick-up line).

For my aforementioned pie-loving friend is in his forties, and author of the statement “I thought green beans somehow grew ‘French cut,’” one of my earliest prosaic epiphanies about the difference between my rural upbringing and that of the majority of my peers, raised as they were in suburbia where green beans came either from Green Giant cans or Birds Eye frozen packages, not the truck garden. (For those of you in
Rio Linda, as Rush Limbaugh is fond of saying, a truck garden is a large garden from which you sell as well as subsist.)