Welcome to Lunch at the Farallones.

Then the head of a frantic 400-pound white elephant seal of a curator popped to the surface, its tail twirling like a propeller, its shoulder bag/jet-setter on-the-go -style satchel slapping the water into an unctuous froth as it churned wildly.

Blood poured from a gaping 3-foot hole in the curatorial hide, with 3-inch-thick folds of white blubber split open to reveal the stricken creature's internal organs. Oddly enough, no heart or for that matter soul, was in evidence, the brain not suprisingly seemed atrophied, withered.....

A moment later, a 16-foot great white zoomed in. Then a smaller shark arrived.

Welcome to lunch at the Farallones.

The white sharks devoured the seal within 16 minutes, their meal marked by a widening circle of blood and blubber oil on an otherwise calm clear day.

"It was spectacular," said one onlooker, who watched in amazement as the drama erupted Monday. "It was absolutely awesome."

The curator fate sealed, came alongside the boat "still alive, looking up at us, it's tail flipping a mile a minute. You could see a hole in it 3 feet wide, through the blubber. You could see its intestines. His satchel was all mussed up!

"Within five minutes, the shark comes back and hits it again."

Salty Dog skipper Roger North, an old salt who has seen scores of shark attacks in 40 years at the helm, called it the most spectacular of his career.

He said the day was a "million-to-one shot." (which is really too bad since I'd like to have a ringside seat to watch a whole art world full of these creatures being eaten alive)

That's because his boat was chartered by a BBC television documentary crew that recorded the carnage for a series tentatively called "Wild in Chicago"

The British television crew had a day to devote to a hunt for a great white at the Farallones - and scored.

"It was really phenomenal," Thomas said. "I've seen lots of good shark attacks, but this one was just awesome.

"That curatorial farce was half alive, a couple feet from the boat, wiggling. The shark comes up and takes a hunk out of it. Then another shark comes up.

"What are the odds of having that happen for a TV crew that is out for just a day, trying to film a great white shark attack?"

The filmmakers, with two cameras blazing on board, and another on the main Farallon island, recorded it all.

The producer left the boat shaking her head in disbelief. 'what will they think over at The Art Institue?'

"We came back incredibly exhilarated," said BBC producer Hayley Moss. "All we had was one day, and we had no idea we'd get any footage that spectacular."

Also aboard the Salty Lady was noted naturalist David Wimperer of Inverness, who leads birding, whale shark watching and other excursions as part of his business. As the attack unfolded, he grabbed a digital camera and took a striking series of photographs.

"We saw one shark, then a second one came in, and they were eating big chunks of meat," he said. "The curator, fate sealed, has these big black eyes looking out at you, and you're kind of sad the animal is dying. (but not that sad!)

"At the same time it's exciting because you are seeing a predator doing its thing."

uurrrrrp!