Sharks X SouthWest: Part 1

For those of you who haven't experienced the CB, it is a franchise of identical restaurants and fake general stores spread out across the interstates headed any which direction once you get out of any city. Even the washrooms are always in the same corner. They are modeled on another time that probably never existed, Like a Norman Rockwell painting or an orchestral arrangement of a Scott Joplin tune. Also, the word "Cracker" is probably the best description of what you find inside this dining establishment. One look around the room makes you wonder whether the original owner branded his first feedbag as a kind of tongue-in-cheek joke.

It's hard to think of anything more honky.

Le Shark:
Nouvelle Cuisine? Well, on occasion perhaps -Mbut more importantly, food that is what it claims to be -Cracker Barrel -isn't a cracker barrel, the country store ain't a country store, and the food isn't 'down home cookin' but rather, this wretched MacDonald-ized variant on what it claims to be. Actually the one safe bet on the menu is, the prepackaged crackers........ Rockwell? -not a chance -this dump has 'Kinkade' written all over it.

Nicholas Tremulis:
The Shark perused the menu trying desperately to find something familiar. Something resembling prey from his own fine dining waters. He had the look of a man trying to figure out the exchange rate of dollars to drachmas in an Athens whore house. Finally, it was the word "steak" that seemed the most familiar. The idea of fish in the middle of Missouri seemed as incongruous as wearing a tutu at a Hell's Angels rally. He dug in, fearing this meal could be his last. But, just as it was easy to drive all day through a grey sky, it was also easy to gnaw through a grey meal.

Le Shark:
Desperate? The Shark was merely disgusted. If anyone reading this really wants to understand why we live in a country that goes to war with the wrong country, is the only industrial nation not on the Kyoto accord, as the Greenland ice shelf slips into the north Atlantic with New York poised to assume the mantle of the mid 21st century 'Venice' of America - as for places like Miami? New Orleans? -remember when.....( The Shark will be there swimming around, but probably none of you will be- ).... just go to a Cracker Barrel or an 'Olive Garden'...and peruse the ambiance..thank god the ice age is coming...and admit it Nick -you were completely thrilled with the opportunity to lunch at Olive Garden.......The Shark wants to know, how can you stand to eat that crap?

Nicholas Tremulis:
We arrived in Joplin around 10:30pm on a Thursday night; the half way point to Austin and the place we'd sleep for the evening. We tried for a late dinner at another interstate attempt at ethnicity,"The Olive Garden", but were turned away, as they had already closed. This brought me to another hurdle for the Shark. The dreaded "Steak And Shake!". This a place where the worst excuse for a hamburger you've ever had is referred to as a steak. Balls! Pure balls. Even I find this place to be a suicide mission. Here, the Shark drew the line, ordering only a small dinner salad.

Now it was time for bed. The Shark and I went to a nearby Wal-Mart and began loading up on any over the counter drug reading "may cause drowsiness" and hurried back to the hotel, eager to mix and match our synergistic sleep potion.

Le Shark:
Anyone who knows anything about sharks knows we never actually sleep........can we just get to Austin already?

Nicholas Tremulis:
The next day we woke up, albeit a bit on the groggy side due to the "drowsy" cocktail, slammed about 20 shots of espresso between us and began the day's drive through Oklahoma and the other half of the United States; Texas. I've learned from numerous tours through Austin before our present odyssey not to get exited upon crossing the Texas state line. Your only half way there and the rest of the drive is uneventful to say the least, unless you happen to make the mistake of stopping at the truck stop in Waco. (whacko would be a better name for it)

Our hotel was 18 or so miles outside of the center of town, so we checked in, dropped off our gear and bee-lined it to Congress street and the Hotel room of my "brother from another mother", Alejandro Escovedo and his wife; the poet, Kim Christoff. The Shark, whose paintings reside on Escovedo's forthcoming album, had also brought a painting, as a present to the happy couple. He proceeded to rip the inferior hotel painting off the wall with his teeth, replacing it with his own superior work. Before he could adjust the lighting in the room to focus on its new found masterpiece. I suggested we take a stroll down the street to an art gallery to catch our friend Jon Langford at his book signing. Jon had finished performing and signing for the day and was ready to start draining the state of all the margaritas he could find. We convened for dinner at a great mexican restaurant with a table filled with other Chicagoans from the Bloodshot/Hideout gang. The food was quite a giant step up from the Soylent Green we'd been eating on the road. Saw my pal Charlie Sexton while we were eating there and laid an advance copy of my new album "Ultraviolet" on him. We said our goodbye's and headed for my home away from home in Austin: The Continental Club.

Now the fireworks begin! As it turned out, tonight's headliner was a super group from New Orleans I've been waiting to see for a long time called "Little Band Of Gold", headed by guitar hot shot C.C. Adcock. Tonight, however, was even more special. They were playing back-up band to a crackerjack line-up of New Orleans and Texas's finest R&B artists from the 60's. We saw Archie Bell (The Tighten-Up) doing his thing on stage. The amazing singer/drummer Warren Storm. (drummer on almost all of the Excello recording sessions, including all that Slim Harpo shit!) Then came an amazing singer from Houston, Texas that took our heads right off! The pyro-technic bomb the evening: Roy Head. Roy, like Wayne Cochran, was one of the "white James Brown's" of his age. Here was a man with a lot of flash and plenty in the dash! He blew through a train load of R&B be chestnuts, including his big hit: "Treat Me Right" whipping the microphone around with lightening speed and catching it with Bruce Lee precision. The Shark and I were mesmerized. After the set we said our hello's and went upstairs and found to our surprise an art gallery filled with original drawings of the famed dragster magazine cartoon character RATFINK. Could life be more beautiful? Sure it could, but this was pretty close.

Le Shark:
Well Nicky poo you've pretty much summed it up - The Shark would add, I'm doing both the front and back covers of Alejandro's new cd -which I'm very happy about as Alejandro -and his amazing orchestra are one of the great bands on this melting planet at the moment. We should note that The ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO ORCHESTRA will be here in Chicago April 28th at Old Town School Of Folk Music -and back for a two night stay I believe in the near future after that - we will announce the dates here on Sharkforum.

I would also add, that no amount of superlatives could possibly describe the riveting unbelievably intense stage persona and performance of Mr. Roy Head.......we stood there in a crowd that included Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top fame and Ray Davies -all in utter and complete amazement of the greatness we were witnessing. What Nick may not be aware of, is that due to the cramped quarters of The Continental's stage, Mr. Head took to the floor to perform his finale -'The Snake' -which, consists of the 62 year old singer doing a backflip landing face down on the floor and then comes the slither.........The Shark was duly impressed.